Ahead of the Storm - Day 11

Sasserine, Five Months Ago

By the Gods, if I'd known this wedding would cause so much strife and chaos to fall into my life, we probably would just have eloped, without telling a soul about it. Because honestly, between my parents, the endless preparations and that selfish bitch, Elena - it just seems like this whole thing isn't worth it anymore.

Where to begin?

Well, I guess you could say it all began years ago, before the wedding was even announced, but I don't want to delve into any of that at the moment. Yet in my parents' eyes, it seems the past is quite relevant.

Take those damned invitations, for instance... Guildenstein... Honestly, father, their family is well enough known throughout Sasserine. Isaac Guildenstern may be deceased, but his shipbuilding company is still among the best in town. You even bought mother her precious little Blue Nixie from them. And now you can't be bothered to spell the name right?!

I know what this is all about. I'm not that naïve. Father still thinks all of this is a terrible mistake. He dares think, in his oh-so-infinite wisdom, that he is better placed to choose his daughter's future husband than she herself is. And it's not like he's subtle about his preference, either... NO, it seems every second word out of that man's mouth these days is Gustave this, Gustave that... "Hmm", he would say, "I wonder what life would be like for you if you'd still been with that lovely boy, Gustave Elmhirst. Now THERE was a young man with some class, some dignity!"

Oh, for heaven's sake, father... Could you BE any more obvious, not to mention inappropriate? Yes, Gustave was a good friend of mine, and those moments we spent together are something I treasure and will never forget... but in the end, I made my choice. And my choice wasn't about which boy was most handsome, most clever, most rich or most well-spoken. I chose Anzak because he and I complement each other so well - we make one another feel ALIVE. I helped him discover a softer side that quite likely saved him from a life of crime, making him realize things about the world around him that he never knew existed. And for me... well, this life of privilege and elegance was never enough to satisfy me - deep in my heart lies that same wanderlust and passion for adventure that you and mother once shared, in your own youth. You wanted to be free, to travel and experience the world. Anzak brings out that adventuring spirit in me, and those teenage years we spent in Shadowshore might have seemed like nothing but trouble and disgrace in your eyes, but I never felt more happy or alive in my life.

Yet it's more than that, I realize. You also blame Anzak for what has happened to Vanthus, I know it. Gambling problems, a love of drinking, shady deals and weeks gone missing while he's holed up somewhere cooking up some criminal scheme or other with one of his flings - Brissa, Rowyn, whoever the latest flavor of the month is. Well I'll tell you, father, again and again - that Vanthus has dug his own hole, and Anzak can't take the blame for your son's problems. It was Vanthus who got lured by his own sins, and make some wrong choices along the way. Even if me and Anzak hadn't been around to tempt the young boy into coming to Shadowshore with us, I'm sure he would have turned out much the same way, though perhaps as some corrupt aristocrat, rather than a backalley schemer. Either way, it's just in Vanthus' nature.

And yet, Anzak still feels like he has to prove something to you, father. He tries every day to patch things up with Vanthus, steering him back on track with his life. Oh, Anzak, you are too generous. You don't have to prove anything, or make amends for any mistakes. Still, though, I appreciate the symbolic gesture of making Vanthus your best man - I know it means a lot to both my brother and father. And you say you actually are developping a friendship with him, now? Who knows, maybe you truly can steer him back.

As for my maid of honor, though, I can't say things are all that rosy. I for the life of me cannot stand that arrogant sister of yours. Every time Elena and I get together to talk about the wedding plans, all she does is brag about how her own wedding to her darling "Zeechie" is going to be so much better. Not only that, but she sets her own wedding date merely two months before ours! Trying to upstage us at every second, shoving our special day aside as though it's but a side-attraction for her own magnificent occasion. Its as though "Queen Elena" was claiming to be the second coming of Wee Jas herself or something - a Goddess walking the Material Plane, to be glorified and admired by all the lowly peasants around her. Well, I for one see little to admire in that fraud of a woman. I know the truth, that the unsung hero of the Age of Worms is that lovely Pelorian woman, Pellegri. I read all about it in Tygot's latest publication, and it seems that unlike Elena, Pellegri is still doing her part to make this world a better place.

Ah, but I shouldn't speak so harshly, even if it is only in this private diary. She is to be my sister-in-law, after all. And for certain, I'll not have her selfish airs get in the way of my wedding day. Beyond it all, I am still thrilled to have Anzak back in my life, honored by the sacrifices he has made to come back to me and prove to me that he wants nothing more than to spend eternity by my side.

Oh well, only five more months of this dreaded preparing, and then the great day will finally come. After that, Anzak and I can relax at last, without a care to judgemental parents, wayward brothers and snotty sisters. When that day comes, we can toast to a job well done, and a future well worth savoring.