Ahead of the Storm - Day 9

Sasserine, Six Months Ago

Gustave: Damn it…, that was a perfectly good piece of bread. Garçon, get your finger out of your nose and fetch me anther bottle of wine, some more bread and another spoon…, this one is soiled.

Garçon: Yes…, yes Mr. Elmhirst.

Gustave: Oh.., and be sure to wash your hands beforehand.

Garçon: Of… of course.

The things I do to avoid mother’s cooking, well.., I shouldn’t complain, the food here is quite exquisite, but the service never ceases to disappoint me. That reminds me, what ever happened to old Cecil, he should have returned from his journey by now. If he does not return within the week, mother should hire a new cook.

Garçon: Mr. Elmhirst, a bottle of our finest wine, no extra charge, some bread and a… spoon.

Gustave: Much appreciated. Oh… and another word of advice, and listen very carefully my boy, when lighting candles, try to keep them away from the handkerchiefs.

Garçon: I’ll try and remember that…, sir.

Gustave: Splendid, now run along and put out the fire on table 9.

Garçon: MERDE…

Poor lad, I’m sure he’ll find other employment. Oh…, wait…, hmm…, delicious, that morsel defiantly hit the spot. A toast to the Harbingers of Faith for ending the war and reinstating the local eateries and brothels. It’s about bloody time actually. I’ve gone unsatisfied far too long.

Messenger: Mr. Elmhirst, this just came in for you.

Gustave: Ah, thank you kind sir, here’s a piece of bread.

Messenger: How considerate.

Gustave: Cheers.

And what do we have here. From a lady no doubt. Oh…, an informal wedding invitation, charming.

Dear Gustave…

…

…Anzak has asked my hand in marriage…

...It would mean a lot to me if you could attend…

…I’ll have Anzak on his best behavior, promise…

…

With love, Lavinia.

My dear Lavinia, what have you done; have you no sense, the man belongs in a cage. What a waste. If only…, no…, I refuse to blame myself this time, this is your own doing, I’ve done all I can and you walked away. On the other hand, it is quite obvious that you are still infatuated with me; I can’t really blame you, I suppose there may be hope for you after all. In any case, I’ve no choice but to attend your little brouhaha, someone needs to be there to protect you from that wild boar. Besides, boars cannot dance and I’ll have to show him how it’s done. It’ll be just like times past, and maybe then, you shall find your smile once again.

Amy: Will that be all… Mr. Elmhirst.

Gustave: Ah…, I would seem that I have been granted a heavenly gift for saving table 9. And who might I owe the pleasure…

Amy: Actually…, we’ve already met, Dragon House Academy…, first year…, we made out.

Gustave: Ah yes…, my dear Fiona, it has been…

Amy: Try again…

Gustave: He… umm… Rachel…, Yvonne…, Bianca…, Victoria…

Amy: No…, that was my cousin…

Gustave: …Rosalie…

Amy: MY SISTER…

Gustave: Evelyn, Kirsten, Wendy, Ginger, Isabella, a little hint would be much appreciated…

Amy: It’s AMY jerk… “splash”.

My my, she filled in nicely… On the other hand, hat was good wine…, and my good outfit… Well, at least the meal will be gratis.

Owner: My apologies Mr. Elmhirst, your meal is on the house.

Works every time.